9/7/12

Unfinished Business
By Caty


4 am. The clock ticked slowly, rhythmically. The harder I tried to block out the sound, the louder it became. More aggressive with each passing second. Would this ever end? I longed for sleep. It was a thirst that grew insatiably stronger with each fleeting moment in which my wakeful mind churned. Jagged memories and distant, wild and untraceable thoughts collided as my eyelids wearily drooped and my body pleaded for rest. It was in these moments of restlessness I could no longer ignore the things that were so glaringly apparent. Things I had adamantly and spectacularly hidden deep in my subconscious, mistaking them to be wholly gone until the silent moments when they slowly crept back, reappearing menacingly. You played through my mind like a silent movie or that first song we danced to at the senior prom when you first told me you loved me. Memories crashed like frigid waves on the coast of my numbing mind. I closed my eyes for a moment and imagined opening them to your head on the pillow next to mine, lids heavy with sleep, and the steady breathing of a happy dreamer. I imagined my head on your chest, your arms wrapped loosely around me, and your smell, somewhat like cinnamon and aftershave would be lingering hazily. I’d be dozing off as the TV buzzed and the unnatural light would bounce off the walls periodically, sending shadows over our stony faces and flickering on our sleepy frames. I stayed in that moment, breathing deeply, inhaling your soothing scent and the warmth of contentedness. Slowly, hesitantly, and somewhat unwillingly, I peeled open my eyes. The air was cold and stale. The TV buzzed with the static of an unpaid bill. The worn blankly I was huddled under slipped off boney shoulders and my toes poked ashamedly out the end. I shivered sadly and turned back to gaze solemnly at my opponent. 4:01 am.


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